I can taste the concept of conception churning on my tongue.
Honey hung on his longing lips - too poisonous to kiss. Yet too prominent to
miss. He grabbed my hand like a thief in the night. Held my bosom close to his
chest. Well, you get the rest. The moment of spontaneous bliss sealed with a
kiss – hands on my waist. Damn. Deception has a funny taste. I wouldn’t let
that moment go for months. An undisclosed desire just between us…We were both on the same side. Yet there were feelings you chose to hide.
You swallowed my SOUL slowly like sweet syrup as we spoke - surprised you didn't choke on your own words. Awesome. Absurd. All at once. You must have mistaken me for a dunce. I seemed to have misplaced my cap with your back handed slap. Were you playing me or her? Does it even matter anymore....
Lust and trust are incompatible mates. I let this ruminate before opening the flood gates. In the past I would have wanted to die – now, even my spirit could not cry. Why would I weep for another who I could not keep. I choose my battles WISELY before going into war. To fight for you, I had to be 100% sure that you were the one I’d follow into the scorching sun. Therefore, I had to run the other way before it was too late: start a clean slate.
Sure, you can call me unstable but I am the one who is BRAVE enough to put my HEART wholly on the table. Treating my most delicate organ like a
slab you could grab and steal yet never opening yourself up enough to truly feel. I held on for as
long as I could until my knuckles were changing multiple colors and hues: from reds and pinks to burning blues.
If the name of your game is shame – we have all been there –
it is so unfair to stare into the future. Should we shroud the pain or prepare
it with a sterilized suture- steady hands sustain survival – stabbed in the
front by a friend revealed as an actual rival. I am relieved our perfect plans
fell through – looking back all I could see was me wanting you.
Crystal.
