Nurturing self vs. nurturing Others...

We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it.
John Lennon

Being able to NURTURE & inspire whether its people, plants, or animals is a GIFT. Its self less. Its "altruism" at its FINEST:)

What about YOURSELF?

Personally, I have been known to look after complete strangers. I make friends easily with woman who have children. As a teenager, I watched after my 90 year old neighbor Mrs. Connetta who has since died @ the ripe old age of 102!

Talking to a friend the other day, I began to realize my connection to the lost, old, needy etc... many "psychic" had told me while reading my palms that I'm an old soul. There are many of us out there, you dont have to be psychic to acknowledge that.

on the phone last night, my friend Steve, who has come in & of my life these past few months reiterated: Crystal, you are a 37 year old in a 20-something body....that comment always makes me smile.

Well, if I am an old soul then Im far from a perfect one! See, old souls are supposed to have learned certain lessons about life in its INFINITE wisdom...somehow, I still find myself still learning SIMPLE stuff about human relations....

certain concepts that seem so trivial to others elude me. perhaps thats why Im so fascinated with astrology. It has at the very least helped me understand myself better & others too.
Foolishly< there are times when I believe that i can nurture MYSELF better than anyone else ever could - only to discover thats completely wrong.

Part of learning personal humility is admitting as well as accepting that we cant do it all on our own - there are times we must admit we need HELP!
Especially from somebody who is STRONGER than ourself...

ONE valuable lesson learned was my uncanny ability to show love & care to others yet neglect myself & become so hard on myself that i get physically & emotionally ill - outwardly it turns into RESENTMENT. The aftermath?

I lost quite a few PRECIOUS relationships. This I can admit & Im trying to change.

recently, another SPIRITUAL person gave me advice that was very helpful. Upon admitting I have this problem controlling emotions he replied:

Over react: This is definitely not good as it may result in loosing special ones. I used to be like this but not anymore.

It just the matter of realization of your inner strength. You can be an ocean of patience and absorb all the negativity.
ah...it just hit a new topic to write a note...
take care and don't stress out. You are beautiful person.

Something CLICKED! Im thinking: WOW. Such simple words have touched my heart & inspired me to CHANGE the way I have been thinking...so thank you FRIEND XOXO.

All the best,
Crystal.

"Keep your Friends *close* BUT your Enemies closer!!!

"Revenge is a dish best served cold"

Listen people, what I learned about ANGER towards somebody who has upset you is simple - ITS NOT WORTH IT...

When someone goes out of their way to hurt you, its because 1- they have nothing better to do. 2- They are mean spirited 3- esoterically, my personal favorite~ there is some past -life drama going on...

REVENGE is simply NOT worth the time or effort! WHY? Its just a waste of energy. MOST importantly, it gives the OTHER person power. Thats EXACTLY what they WANT.

I actually knew someone, surprise, an ex boyfriend - who planned revenge on a kid who stole money from him, money that another friend gave him to buy weed. This EX now lives in China, hes not Chinese but Polish. He just must have been so bitter he had to run to the other side of the world lol.

Who am I to judge. We have all had "revenge" fantasies. Its best that we keep them inside our little brains: pretty please?

So take the high road. Yea, its easier said than done. In the end, you will come out the BETTER person!!!

To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson:))

All the best,

Crystal xoxo.

SHE's Just NOT that into YOU: I could tell you why: then it wouldn't be a secret!

I was bored today, snowed in, & recovering from a cold. Found the "trailer" for the new movie & decided to search for Quotes from the Best selling book: "He's Just Not That into You".

For the record, I never bought this book or believed the guy who wrote it: Greg. and he had a "female" co-author Liz, but he takes ALL the credit > T*Y*P*I*C*A*L

Was this guy a FOOL for spilling the beans on the way men operate....

Some say its still a MAN's world. This book just proves it b/c its mainly from the MALE perspective - I have skimmed through the book & watched this man on OPRAH - its been 4 years. This CONCEPT will not go away.

Sure, I get it. Men are essentially cave men - on the hunt while women WAIT around thats the natural order of things for MILLIONS of years. Same in the animal kingdom - the only aggressive females are Black Widows & Praying Mantis - who eat their mate during & after conception -

I'm not the aggressive, TYPE-A- however, Im competitive. I also learned that if we WAIT for a man to pick us- 9 times out of 10, its a man we dont want. Most men, especially powerful ones - secretly enjoy being dominated.

They might marry Miss Safety blanket yet have spicy affairs with miss freak- between the sheets- if he finds a woman who can satisfy BOTH Madonna-whore complexes he's lucky.

So whats the purpose of this book ladies? Its not to teach us how to get laid it to to show us signs that he isn't on our team - so where is he? In a strip club, in a seedy bar, watching ESPN jerking off? WRONG.

Men have feelings just as much as women. This man who wrote this book was obviously scorned & believe me, sister, men can be just as spiteful as women & when their EGO is bruised - lets not go there: HUGH HEFNER ( still got love your you gramps).

Men will build Empires (or write silly books) to avoid feeling any pain. Women, we cry to our friends then veg out for a few weeks with a pint of ice cream watching old movies. One night stands are another option, those can get messy & turn out to be a waste of time.

What if for once, a woman stood up & told a man- I'm just not that into you because you are a lying, cheating, shady son of a gun - a man who cannot tell the women he loves the TRUTH is a no good coward anyways....

Men, you'd be surprised if you told your lady the truth from your heart - not your PENIS how understanding she would be - it hurts more to be caught in a lie - if these childish games weren't played- this man would never would have become a famous gazzilionaire exposing your B.S.

xoxo Crystal

Enjoy the quotes from the book:

EDIT YOUR DATING VOCAB~

"Friend" - A person who is your "pal" - generally means hes just not that into you.

"Busy" - means I'm the president of the United States. I'm on another planet. I'm in a really successful band - again, he's saying- I'm just not that into you.

This guy is brilliant. He goes out with you, dates you, breaks up with you, then continues to sleep with you, which basically absolves him of all responsibility toward your feelings. After all, you're not going out anymore. It's genius! It's diabolical! He should be writing a book! In fact, I bet this guy could get his own little cult going if he wanted to. And let me guess, you'd be happy to sign up for that as well. For the record, this guy doesn't "like you so much that he can't stop being around you." Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: they don't break up with you. This guy is seriously not into you, it's crazy. The only way you're going to figure out how into you you are ... is how fast you get rid of him.


He will always be able to play the "friend" card on you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the the far greater expectations of a boyfriend. He's got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to. He may be one of your closest friends, but I'm sorry to say ... as a boyfriend, he's just not that into you.

Standard raising suggestions:
(I will not date a man who~)

a- Keeps me waiting on the phone.

b-Is not sure he wants to date me.

c-Makes me feel sexually undesirable.

d- Drinks or does drugs to the extent that makes me feel uncomfortable

e - FEARS talking about our FUTURE.

f - IS MARRIED!!!



Anyone have any thoughts/opinions on this topic?

*Break-ups are Beautiful*

Relationships have always been an intricate part of my life. I had my first kiss at 13 with a boy around the corner- we were summer sweethearts -he was not my first "official" boyfriend - once school started, he began dating my friend who introduced us & I was happy for them.

We all deserve to be with the one who brings out our best NOT our worst.

At 17, i was sent to a co -ED Boarding School in Kingston, PA. It was a former Seminary (for nuns) in the mountains. the closest CITY is called Willes-Barre. I had a crush on a tall hockey player from the Chech Republic. His name was Lucaj Palvacheck - very European. He was a nice guy. A mutual friend hooked us up. But something was missing - communication for one, his accent was too thick his English was worse.

It was not heart - breaking. Just dissapointing. When we are younger, whether we date someone for one week or one month, saying GOOD-BYE feels like a death. Like a piece of you is missing. An uncle used to say to me: remember, we are born lone. We die alone.
What a philosophy! Its only an opinion. Right?

As a writer & constant communicator, i always knew the person I'm meant to be with could at least speak the same language. As I got more "relationship" & LIFE experience, I discovered speaking the SAME language meant more than the English language:)

When you share your TIME with someone, you dont always have to talk - body language works just fine in an intimate bond. But at the end of the day - communication is about being selfless- its about teling your partner things that you would never tell anybody else bc when you look into that person's eyes you see they really care- they wont tease you or exploit you- you see LOVE & total TRUST -

I learned if you or the person you are dating cannot do that at any point in the affair then its best to walk away.

I never would have learned simple lessons like this if I didn't take the chance. So why are break ups beautiful?

Well, if you loved someone then a breakup is NOT the end- its the beginning of a new phase of your relationship. Its an exciting NEW chapter in your life as well - you moved on & hopefully gained valuable information about yourself. Through the experience, you learned what you don't want, what you can handle - what are your limits in love- how much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice for another person.

Personally, I gave long distance more than one shot. It could have been right. Timing is a valuable factor that most of us ignore b/c FEELINGS are more powerful than logic - unless you are a cold blooded soci path & trust me, they are out there - luckily, I steer clear of those unemotional types *YIKES*

If you take the positive from a break up, its definitely NOT the end of the world. Its a time for GROWTH & ACCEPTANCE. Again, its part of LIFE.
All the best,
Crystal.