UNSPOKEN.

You & I were always better off face to face
When we were in the same place.
Maybe we were meant to meet
But the timing was wrong-

I always felt comfort in your arms -
Always felt safe as if I was
protected from harm- it was
almost immediate comfort.
Underneath it all was uneasiness...

It was something we both 'knew'
all along.
You gotta give us credit:
there were so many elements
Going against us
perhaps it was love
We just hopped on
the bus too soon.

There were emotions emitted
An exchanging of ideas
That was you after a few beers.
The chemical reaction was unreal
As we spoke until day break.

I'm surpirsed we didnt get kicked out
With only half a cup of black coffee
and your unsavory "tea"
Maybe they saw the magic:
You said in a moment-
I was your destiny.


Something felt real & immediate
In the bright light- my makeup
Slowly slipping off & my blonde
Hair extensions concealing my
Weariness.

We decided to cab it back to your hotel
Across town, for once traffic wasn't hell-
It was after Christmas but before the
"New year"- how did you find
Me all they way over there?

Was it my decision to become a lady of
the night - its NOT what it sounds
like - I always preferred the light.
It must have been your
Trans-atlantic flight:
You had just got in.

Within hours - we met, became one
then set off into the sun, that was only
The beginning- neither of us were ready
For what was already begun.

Crystal xoxo.

Original Poetry- for things left unspoken, enjoy:)

So you say Im much too emotional for you to handle-
Im just another piece of ass for your mantle.
You knew when we met
My emotions flow like the ocean
Im full of spite & sweet devotion.

A paradox who cannot
Be placed neatly into
A box.
Still raise your fists
To the bitter truth
yet here it is:
Our burden of proof.
I believed together we could heal -
How much of this "love" was real?

You always knew what you wanted to say
You were just waiting for the :proper: day.
Waiting to put the blame on me
Attacking the core of my insecurity.

I told you that I wanted more
Now you have a sore ego-
How long could we go
With all this baggage?

How do we manage
To damage the one who
We're meant to love most?
I never know how to react
Always on the attack-
That was something you
Could never accept.

So I walked away as graceful
As I could.
Just know, inside I wept.
Love doesn't FADE away
In one day.

Crystal ~ 2009

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Am I heartless? I could careless.
Losing a love is not new to me-
Its part of life & its reality.

Your self denial was a turn off
Life's a game, I called your bluff
Since I had enough
Of your lies behind
Those luminous
Green eyes
I saw the truth.
In your mouth
I tasted lies
Still I stuck around
Maybe I was bored
Or just wanted to see the world
With someone who resembled
A friend
But in the end
Thats all you became -
Another man to "jump ship"
After being attached at my hip
For two years - you realized that
You could not catch all my falling tears.

Crystal 2009

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some men prefer their women messed - up
Knocked around & unstable.
I can be all those things but I prefer my
Men mature & able to put food on
the table.

Marriage has never been my cup of tea -
I value my freedom, not an invasion
On my vulnerability.

I'm only a phone call away.
You say thats too far.
You want someone close enough
To touch everyday-

You want a wife to come home
To - I thought you wanted me
After all this time waiting
Like a fool.

So the miles that kept us strong
Now sing a sad sad song ~
Its impossible to "bond"
From across such a large pond.

You said you are a money driven man.
Whats your master plan?
Do you still want to get rich quick?

Since I decided to stay where I am.
Maybe I should look for a new man.
Part of me misses you & part of me wants
To run away - Its up in the air
Im taking life day by day.

Remember I'm the one with the
4-leaf clover: far too clever to
stay.
Not content with your shades of gray.

Lady luck is always on my side.
While you justify your reasons
Im too busy turning the tide.

The stars are not guiding me
Its something greater
Than us
Its a little - big voice
That I've learned to trust.

Crystal 2009

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Im not closing any more
OPEN doors.
Ambition writhing through
my pores.

Im leaving the world we
Created behind.
This sign of growth is
A positive sign.

You met me on the hustle
In the city that never sleeps
With all its manic bustle.

neither of us were who we appeared
To be:
Our true identities were lost in
fantasy.

Somehow I believed that we would be
happy here.
You always needed me there.
Its a risky move, not many are
Willing to take
So we decided to break.

Right now the resentment is too strong.
with you is where I wanted to belong
But I lived long enough to know
You cant swim against the current
You must go with the flow &
Let go.