Beam me up scottie.

Up, up & away.
Candy cane, Mary Jane - its all one in the same:
invincible
Watch my confidence grow: incredible.
Sensations.
Hallucinations. High as a kite.

Shake your ass. Stick it in - make it fast
Theres not too much longer this feeling
Will last- either you take more
Or show yourself to the door.

As you hit your foot to the pavement
You become aware of your enslavement-
There is no power in this powder
Its just your brain turning
Into chowder.

Just as quickly, reality came smashing
Down- this is NOT me...in the light,
Strangers take pity- in the night
You dont feel so shitty.
Shut the f*ck up. Take another hit
Until it makes you forget. Til it
Makes you sick!

Does anyone know the struggle it takes to fight
This thing - the guilt, the shame- nobody
But yourself to blame: life is not meant
To be a game:

It started out so innocent- a one night stand, a helping hand, highly in demand:
no money, no honey.
My mortal mind cant take it anymore.
My morals washed ashore - my spirit shone, broken to the bone.

Im done.
Losing sleep.
Afraid to lose control.
Im not a creep. I deserve unconditional love.

Tough love is heaven sent from above.
If you listen to the angels whisper
Gently into your ear: have no fear.
Be brave. Come back down to earth
Where you have value
Where you have worth.


PS. This a poem I wrote months ago- Im 100% clean today & forever!!!

What kind of mother...

What kind of mother puts herself first?
A selfish mother is the worst.

It breaks my heart to see
Crack head mothers
Not just on TV
But in reality.

They say: my baby will save my life
Meanwhile they have nothing
No home or marriage
No man wants to call her his wife.

Is that what we are teaching our children.
To abandon moral & tradition
As if they never existed...
Life's wisdom, totally twisted.

So society foots the bill
For another new pill.
A baby is born addicted to drugs:
Never getting enough hugs.

What kind of woman makes this kind of decision
Fighting all logic & intuition
Knowing whats growing within
Was created in sin.

Im so afraid of being a mother one day
Not knowing how to act
Not knowing what to say
Keeping my spirituality in tact.

All we own is our beliefs
Our values and way of life.
I'd protect my babies
With all my might.

Teach them to be strong-
Know that they are loved
And they belong.

What kind of mother would
Teach their children to sing
Anything but a happy song?