Listen people, what I learned about ANGER towards somebody who has upset you is simple - ITS NOT WORTH IT...
When someone goes out of their way to hurt you, its because 1- they have nothing better to do. 2- They are mean spirited 3- esoterically, my personal favorite~ there is some past -life drama going on...
REVENGE is simply NOT worth the time or effort! WHY? Its just a waste of energy. MOST importantly, it gives the OTHER person power. Thats EXACTLY what they WANT.
I actually knew someone, surprise, an ex boyfriend - who planned revenge on a kid who stole money from him, money that another friend gave him to buy weed. This EX now lives in China, hes not Chinese but Polish. He just must have been so bitter he had to run to the other side of the world lol.
Who am I to judge. We have all had "revenge" fantasies. Its best that we keep them inside our little brains: pretty please?
So take the high road. Yea, its easier said than done. In the end, you will come out the BETTER person!!!
To laugh often and love much... to appreciate beauty, to find the best in others, to give one's self... this is to have succeeded. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson:))
I was bored today, snowed in, & recovering from a cold. Found the "trailer" for the new movie & decided to search for Quotes from the Best selling book: "He's Just Not That into You".
For the record, I never bought this book or believed the guy who wrote it: Greg. and he had a "female" co-author Liz, but he takes ALL the credit > T*Y*P*I*C*A*L
Was this guy a FOOL for spilling the beans on the way men operate....
Some say its still a MAN's world. This book just proves it b/c its mainly from the MALE perspective - I have skimmed through the book & watched this man on OPRAH - its been 4 years. This CONCEPT will not go away.
Sure, I get it. Men are essentially cave men - on the hunt while women WAIT around thats the natural order of things for MILLIONS of years. Same in the animal kingdom - the only aggressive females are Black Widows & Praying Mantis - who eat their mate during & after conception -
I'm not the aggressive, TYPE-A- however, Im competitive. I also learned that if we WAIT for a man to pick us- 9 times out of 10, its a man we dont want. Most men, especially powerful ones - secretly enjoy being dominated.
They might marry Miss Safety blanket yet have spicy affairs with miss freak- between the sheets- if he finds a woman who can satisfy BOTH Madonna-whore complexes he's lucky.
So whats the purpose of this book ladies? Its not to teach us how to get laid it to to show us signs that he isn't on our team - so where is he? In a strip club, in a seedy bar, watching ESPN jerking off? WRONG.
Men have feelings just as much as women. This man who wrote this book was obviously scorned & believe me, sister, men can be just as spiteful as women & when their EGO is bruised - lets not go there: HUGH HEFNER ( still got love your you gramps).
Men will build Empires (or write silly books) to avoid feeling any pain. Women, we cry to our friends then veg out for a few weeks with a pint of ice cream watching old movies. One night stands are another option, those can get messy & turn out to be a waste of time.
What if for once, a woman stood up & told a man- I'm just not that into you because you are a lying, cheating, shady son of a gun - a man who cannot tell the women he loves the TRUTH is a no good coward anyways....
Men, you'd be surprised if you told your lady the truth from your heart - not your PENIS how understanding she would be - it hurts more to be caught in a lie - if these childish games weren't played- this man would never would have become a famous gazzilionaire exposing your B.S.
xoxo Crystal
Enjoy the quotes from the book:
EDIT YOUR DATING VOCAB~
"Friend" - A person who is your "pal" - generally means hes just not that into you.
"Busy" - means I'm the president of the United States. I'm on another planet. I'm in a really successful band - again, he's saying- I'm just not that into you.
This guy is brilliant. He goes out with you, dates you, breaks up with you, then continues to sleep with you, which basically absolves him of all responsibility toward your feelings. After all, you're not going out anymore. It's genius! It's diabolical! He should be writing a book! In fact, I bet this guy could get his own little cult going if he wanted to. And let me guess, you'd be happy to sign up for that as well. For the record, this guy doesn't "like you so much that he can't stop being around you." Because here's what guys don't do if they can't live without you: they don't break up with you. This guy is seriously not into you, it's crazy. The only way you're going to figure out how into you you are ... is how fast you get rid of him.
He will always be able to play the "friend" card on you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the the far greater expectations of a boyfriend. He's got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to. He may be one of your closest friends, but I'm sorry to say ... as a boyfriend, he's just not that into you.
Standard raising suggestions: (I will not date a man who~)
a- Keeps me waiting on the phone.
b-Is not sure he wants to date me.
c-Makes me feel sexually undesirable.
d- Drinks or does drugs to the extent that makes me feel uncomfortable
Relationships have always been an intricate part of my life. I had my first kiss at 13 with a boy around the corner- we were summer sweethearts -he was not my first "official" boyfriend - once school started, he began dating my friend who introduced us & I was happy for them. We all deserve to be with the one who brings out our best NOT our worst.
At 17, i was sent to a co -ED Boarding School in Kingston, PA. It was a former Seminary (for nuns) in the mountains. the closest CITY is called Willes-Barre. I had a crush on a tall hockey player from the Chech Republic. His name was Lucaj Palvacheck - very European. He was a nice guy. A mutual friend hooked us up. But something was missing - communication for one, his accent was too thick his English was worse.
It was not heart - breaking. Just dissapointing. When we are younger, whether we date someone for one week or one month, saying GOOD-BYE feels like a death. Like a piece of you is missing. An uncle used to say to me: remember, we are born lone. We die alone. What a philosophy! Its only an opinion. Right?
As a writer & constant communicator, i always knew the person I'm meant to be with could at least speak the same language. As I got more "relationship" & LIFE experience, I discovered speaking the SAME language meant more than the English language:)
When you share your TIME with someone, you dont always have to talk - body language works just fine in an intimate bond. But at the end of the day - communication is about being selfless- its about teling your partner things that you would never tell anybody else bc when you look into that person's eyes you see they really care- they wont tease you or exploit you- you see LOVE & total TRUST -
I learned if you or the person you are dating cannot do that at any point in the affair then its best to walk away.
I never would have learned simple lessons like this if I didn't take the chance. So why are break ups beautiful?
Well, if you loved someone then a breakup is NOT the end- its the beginning of a new phase of your relationship. Its an exciting NEW chapter in your life as well - you moved on & hopefully gained valuable information about yourself. Through the experience, you learned what you don't want, what you can handle - what are your limits in love- how much of yourself are you willing to sacrifice for another person.
Personally, I gave long distance more than one shot. It could have been right. Timing is a valuable factor that most of us ignore b/c FEELINGS are more powerful than logic - unless you are a cold blooded soci path & trust me, they are out there - luckily, I steer clear of those unemotional types *YIKES*
If you take the positive from a break up, its definitely NOT the end of the world. Its a time for GROWTH & ACCEPTANCE. Again, its part of LIFE. All the best, Crystal.
You & I were always better off face to face When we were in the same place. Maybe we were meant to meet But the timing was wrong-
I always felt comfort in your arms - Always felt safe as if I was protected from harm- it was almost immediate comfort. Underneath it all was uneasiness...
It was something we both 'knew' all along. You gotta give us credit: there were so many elements Going against us perhaps it was love We just hopped on the bus too soon.
There were emotions emitted An exchanging of ideas That was you after a few beers. The chemical reaction was unreal As we spoke until day break.
I'm surpirsed we didnt get kicked out With only half a cup of black coffee and your unsavory "tea" Maybe they saw the magic: You said in a moment- I was your destiny.
Something felt real & immediate In the bright light- my makeup Slowly slipping off & my blonde Hair extensions concealing my Weariness.
We decided to cab it back to your hotel Across town, for once traffic wasn't hell- It was after Christmas but before the "New year"- how did you find Me all they way over there?
Was it my decision to become a lady of the night - its NOT what it sounds like - I always preferred the light. It must have been your Trans-atlantic flight: You had just got in.
Within hours - we met, became one then set off into the sun, that was only The beginning- neither of us were ready For what was already begun.
So you say Im much too emotional for you to handle- Im just another piece of ass for your mantle. You knew when we met My emotions flow like the ocean Im full of spite & sweet devotion.
A paradox who cannot Be placed neatly into A box. Still raise your fists To the bitter truth yet here it is: Our burden of proof. I believed together we could heal - How much of this "love" was real?
You always knew what you wanted to say You were just waiting for the :proper: day. Waiting to put the blame on me Attacking the core of my insecurity.
I told you that I wanted more Now you have a sore ego- How long could we go With all this baggage?
How do we manage To damage the one who We're meant to love most? I never know how to react Always on the attack- That was something you Could never accept.
So I walked away as graceful As I could. Just know, inside I wept. Love doesn't FADE away In one day.
Crystal ~ 2009
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Am I heartless? I could careless. Losing a love is not new to me- Its part of life & its reality.
Your self denial was a turn off Life's a game, I called your bluff Since I had enough Of your lies behind Those luminous Green eyes I saw the truth. In your mouth I tasted lies Still I stuck around Maybe I was bored Or just wanted to see the world With someone who resembled A friend But in the end Thats all you became - Another man to "jump ship" After being attached at my hip For two years - you realized that You could not catch all my falling tears.
Crystal 2009
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Some men prefer their women messed - up Knocked around & unstable. I can be all those things but I prefer my Men mature & able to put food on the table.
Marriage has never been my cup of tea - I value my freedom, not an invasion On my vulnerability.
I'm only a phone call away. You say thats too far. You want someone close enough To touch everyday-
You want a wife to come home To - I thought you wanted me After all this time waiting Like a fool.
So the miles that kept us strong Now sing a sad sad song ~ Its impossible to "bond" From across such a large pond.
You said you are a money driven man. Whats your master plan? Do you still want to get rich quick?
Since I decided to stay where I am. Maybe I should look for a new man. Part of me misses you & part of me wants To run away - Its up in the air Im taking life day by day.
Remember I'm the one with the 4-leaf clover: far too clever to stay. Not content with your shades of gray.
Lady luck is always on my side. While you justify your reasons Im too busy turning the tide.
The stars are not guiding me Its something greater Than us Its a little - big voice That I've learned to trust.
Crystal 2009
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Im not closing any more OPEN doors. Ambition writhing through my pores.
Im leaving the world we Created behind. This sign of growth is A positive sign.
You met me on the hustle In the city that never sleeps With all its manic bustle.
neither of us were who we appeared To be: Our true identities were lost in fantasy.
Somehow I believed that we would be happy here. You always needed me there. Its a risky move, not many are Willing to take So we decided to break.
Right now the resentment is too strong. with you is where I wanted to belong But I lived long enough to know You cant swim against the current You must go with the flow & Let go.
Matthew 6:5-6: "And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men....when thou prayest, enter into thy closet and when thou has shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret...."
Dear Lord,
Can you hear me? Can you read this letter all the way from heaven? Christmas is just around the corner I'm not asking for much... Im struggling Lord, heavenly father. This is not my first letter nor my last. However, this is the first letter I'm posting "publicly" for those who care to read; to understand.
You know my true heart. Thats why you always reach out to be. Thats why you have blessed me with a gift to heal & help those who are lost. whenever, I stray, you always find a way to shield me from danger...
At the same time, you showed me through suffering that I must HELP, heal & forgive myself first before reaching out to others. You also gave me the strength & gumption not to pity myself. However you knew before I was created, there will be misunderstandings and confusion around me. Is this all a test? Did I pass or fail? Life is not about numbers, grades, statistics - Life is about HEART, feelings, FAITH...
There was always a Guardian Angel there to comfort me when my own family called me names. Its true you have to give respect to earn it. But, how is a child to know the difference between right & wrong with two parents who were incapable of nurturing themselves...you held me up, gave me gentle encouragement & taught me to defend myself through ACTION as well as WORDS. Although, Im learning to pick my battles - not so wisely. Struggling with the right words to say... I'm getting better at it day by day.
For all that, Im eternally grateful. For all the misunderstandings of human nature on YOUR true nature & your fervent forgiveness - you are all mighty. You must be laughing up there when you see 2 young women arguing about who is MORE devoted when you know, BOTH carry you in their heart. You must also weep when wars are started, blood is shed in the name of RELIGION...
You have also given us permission to question authority. After all, who are "they" but everyone else: flesh & blo0d with a mind & soul, not to mention a "body" on loan - a vessel that is not ours but a carcass carrying all the essential tools to be successful. To live up to your expectations. Also to be tempted by the same flesh that hardens then returns to ashes once our soul expires.
Im so sorry jesus, from the bottom of my heart. Im not an avid church goer nor do I read the bible first thing in the morning or before bed time. Im a typical "faith-flopper", still struggling to believe in you 100%. Although, my hope is that one of these days, when you are ready to take me away, you will answer the eternal question: whats the meaning of life?
I mean whats the point of giving us free-will if that means only those who believe will be saved. Whats the point of handicapped people, homeless people, babies dying at birth, children starving in 3rd world countries- what did they do to deserve the pain while those who are greedy, selfish, cruel live in the lap of luxury?
In all the words, I heard uttered in your "name". You never said the world was FAIR. You knew it wouldn't be - there must be a DIVINE reason for this too...is it to TEST us Lord? To see just how far we would GO to abandon you for our own selfish needs?
Why do we DEMAND more proof? When its ALREADY there in front of us in NATURE. In the SIMPLICITY of everyday LIFE. We are all so occupied with trivial matters, we forget to stop & smell the roses, the wind sweep on our cheek, the cotton between our toes....
Ever since I was a little girl, all I wanted was to be appreciated. Thats all I ask today. Funny, how you can do a million things right. Then you make one mistake here or there & you are put on the chopping block: off with her head! Ironically, Im also he worrier - not the one who over analyzes, leave that to accountants. If I had lost faith completely, the welfare of others would not be of any consequence to my conscience.
While most worry mainly about their immediate family. To me, the world is my family from the big boss on top to the garbage man on the street! Money talks seems to be the name of lifes game. Some of us are simply more LUCKY than others. Its not WISE to play with luck while others have been cursed by no fault of their own.
Lord, can you help take them out of their DENIAL. Show them the light?
Sure, I chose the wrong path many times - instead of following the straight & narrow road ahead, I took a few sharp turns & alley ways that lead me nowhere but darkness & confusion. The whole way, I called out to you! Free will isnt so free when your soul is at stake: when your heart is not in sync with your head. There is something BEYOND those things we can see, touch, smell, taste....
Its disheartening to believe there are those out there, walking this earth, who never get to experience more than this material world. I feel your pain world. Im also learning from others that all it takes is a tiny "seed". It must be planted patiently then left to grow on its own. Perhaps dropping by to water it every now & then but NEVER forced into the ground or over fed.
This "seed" was ingrained within my soul as a little girl. It was certainly not hatred that grew within but LOVE. That must = G-d. Still, Im struggling. Is it the whispers: you are not good enough. You are forgotten. He does not care about you let alone LOVE you? Its not a mere man, its you Lord. Whenever I was empty, you filled me up. I turned to you because, as you know, I never had a stable father figure. I searched in all the WRONG places for validation.
I hope to make a commitment to you someday when I get stronger. There are still parts of me that feel unworthy. truth be told, Im not 100% ready even though Im so close. Half-way there in fact. Completing the process of "extracting" certain thoughts & influences from my life that are UNHEALTHY.
As always, you are the PERFECT gentleman. Patient, considerate, compassionate & most of all L-O-V-E. Thank you again for all your acceptance, your guidance, and comfort in times of loneliness.
Forever, Crystal xoxo.
Hear Me! Hear Me, My Sons, and My Daughters. Oh, how are you? How are You, My Sons and My Daughters? I love you so much. I love you so much. I love you with all of My Heart My Sons and Daughters.
"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart." ~ Helen Keller (1880-1968)
Words really are meaningless without ACTION to back them up. What are words, just another form of communication.
Sometimes, my blogs appear to be defensive, they probably are but while I have a VOICE & half- a brain, I will use them to capacity... if anybody has a retort, Id be glad to hear it.... just as long as I refuse to be your victim or victimize myself!
Some of us put too much emphasis on things said at the spur of the moment as opposed to observing how we treat others especially those who can not get us ahead in life. Everybody expects me to be the calm easy going one in the crowed- at FIRST- im even tempered most of the time.
Everyone acts shocked when I catch an "attitude" all of a sudden which is rare but once it starts- watch out! Im not the best at snappy comebacks & most people are physically larger than me expect for my uh-hum boobies;) So I yell & even call people names. Naturally, Im uber embarrassed afterwards- hey, there is usually alcohol involved.
Its not always about my PAST or haunted childhood- why cant it be about the situation: the here & now...when I decide to go out dancing, which isnt often these days, Im living for the moment- maybe an occasional nipple pops out but im not worried, there is NO paparazzi following me around lol.
I will be the FIRST to admit, I have a crazy side, an emotional side, a bitchy side + most importantly, a compassionate side-
To clarify- crazy is not insane- sometimes, I let loose after a long week of tedious seriousness- let loose be the operative word- although many of my values are CONSERVATIVE, my actions are not. Its a struggle within me to discover the fine balance between "Fun girl" + "crazy chick".
It was easy to compartmentalize those two different sides of myself until recently, a dear friend made me realize my *spirituality* clashes with my lifestyle - or the one I'm trying to LEAVE behind me. You see, people get lost in their own little worlds, the ones they create to avoid reality.
In time, with patience & perhaps after a SEED is planted within their hearts, the truth will be revealed to them with love & compassion. All I want for people is to receive the gift, I had been given by complete strangers- the GIFT to heal yourself. It starts with forgiving yourself. We all make mistakes. Its never too late to turn your life around. YOU must be the one to do it. Sometimes it takes hitting rock bottom or losing some sort of SECURITY. Whatever the case may be - keep the FAITH.
Life is seriously too short (here on earth) to worry what others think about you- in the end its ONLY hearsay- FURTHER more, with the advancement of the world & history in the making- RECOGNIZE there are bigger things going on besides you & me- accusations, finger pointing, worry - they only exacerbate the issue at hand. They dont ADD anything particularly positive to our thought processes.
On that note, I refuse to let other people's pettiness, jealousy, & insecurities control me. If I said things that hurt, well we all have, maybe its time to face your own truth & reality - life is full of phonies whether you want to believe it or not & there is also a time to be REAL & a time to a bitch. Im not saying be cruel- I have a heart. Still, its better to be blunt than sugar coat all your syllables.
YOU know who you are + so does the man upstairs- after all he created you.
What others say or think should have no bearing on your LIFE unless you let it.
I'd like to say its much easier to be independant so the opinions of others really don't matter but we are still memeber of society + should live according to our culture in order not to become an OUTSIDER.
Needless to say its not easy. My character is strong- I have a sharp tongue + my intense passion + temper do get the best of me- at 27, I'm realizing how much more I have to learn about respect.
I have never claimed to be perfect, although I grew up in a perfectionist family- logically, I understand its impossible for any human being to be the picture of perfection.
Its yet another life lesson. Human nature will always be inconsistent- there is no point bringing up that he said - she said crap- its a waste of energy.
Seriously, the best way to handle conflict or rumors is to walk away - give the dust time to settle so to speak.
The more we know, the longer we exsist- the MORE we will realize how much is out of our control- all we can do is ACCEPT it & move on.
The Lord only HELPS those who help themselves- even Jesus, a man who preached love + forgiveness was misunderstood.
I'm not an expert on the bible, I barely go to church, but the times I have knelt at the pew, my heart sank- tears welled up in my eyes bc. Yes, I was humbled by the presence of something GREATER.
We cannot see it. If you just close your eyes in room full of people, you know it is there- it has touched you deep in your soul.
