Forget an "Ivy league" education... I went to the school of LIFE...I always write from personal experience. Before I was 8 years old I had lived in at least 10 different states including the US virgin islands. One summer, as a teen, an innocent trip to visit my birth parents in Oregon turned out to be the second time they would try to kidnap me- when I was 20, I dated a guy 30 years older & the chemistry was EXPLOSIVE- thats as far as I'll go- READ the BOOK. Coming sometime this decade=)
Now, at the tender age of 27, I'm going back to university in August to continue my higher education- all info Im providing is part truth & part humor- please don't take offense: we all have to learn to laugh at ourselves. Enjoy.
Dating in this city is TOUGH. Unless you are from New York, Manhattan or the outer boroughs: Im a Queens gal myself=) I never cared much for guys in Whitestone, where I grew up. In my teenage years, I ventured on the #7 train to times square, where I discovered older men with jobs, guys from Spain, Canada- I learned there is a bigger world out there than the town you live. It can be intimidating- Im just highlighting the WORST out there- the players, jerks, and losers.
To be completely honest, there are "good" guys in New York. Unfortunately nice & cute doesn't cut it in this city...
The options for women in 2008:
1- The out of town, ivy league educated wanna be yuppie from a small town: he might be cute, sweet, intelligent but he is preppy & needs LOTS of training. He might be an intern or new hire at a big firm. "Mommy & daddy's" money got him far- it helped him pay for his loft aka bachelor pad on Wall street- he might be a genuinely nice guy but ZERO personality and/or life experience- he's good for an older woman who doesn't mind a little fun in bed + is turned on by INEXPERIENCE.
2- The middle aged Millionaire: He's self made. successful, charming, intelligent guy who seems to have it all- the business(s), the apartment(s), the passion- he is never boring. He wines & dines you & he is pretty hot in bed- the first time you meet he touches you, you melt....he gets you in bed & hes still Mr. Wonderful...suddenly you're moving in- going on mini vacations to the Bahamas, meeting his friends (not his family, yet....). Quickies sessions in the bathroom. Could life get any better...
Ok, this man might seem perfect. Its a front. This doe not make him a bad person because he will never commit- to you or any other fabulous woman. In fact, he would not know how to recognize the perfect woman if her lips were in between his legs - to his benefit, he never makes promises. he lets you know he cares about you but want to keep options open. If hes a decent person, he will be upfront.
Just remember: you cannot change him no matter what you do or say- dont take him on as a charity case thinking you're that one woman in 40 years who will make him commit 100%
3. The promoter- he gets you into all the parties & life is fun, exciting, sexy- you're never bored- neither are the other 100 women he is sleeping with/flirting with/promising he will introduce her to so & so & make her into a STAR...whatever you do~ don't sleep with him: he will still get you into parties- jut learn how to be a master FLIRT...trust me, its not worth getting an STD just to skip the line into a club- there will always be another club & another sleezy promoter trying to f'k you.
4. The European- hes got the accent, fashion sense, romance- he's just oozes sex appeal & he wants YOU....think twice- he want to get you in bed & he knows its easy- all he has to do is TALK. Unless he takes you to dinner & NOT straight to his apartment- again, just keep it light....give him a pair of your underwear- European men love that! On the plus side, they are much more open minded about social taboos- if you're a free spirit, this man might be your perfect match- just dont expect him to be available when you need a real connection...he just wants you for your body.
5. The douche bag- hes broke, drug dealer, coke head, toy boy (in his mind)...whats wrong with this guy? Everything: he never has enough money, sex is unsatisfying Unless he has a big d*ck, there is nothing this guy has that women would want...to any rational, smart woman at least, yet he still has a way of justifying his bad attitude + behavior. Unfortunately women fall for him & he gets them evicted or thrown in jail- there isn't much to add here but please STAY AWAY - he is made for that lonely desperate middle aged woman or the young pretty one who is impressed by his ability to weave words around her pretty head...beware.
6. The trust fund baby (boy). He cannot do anything spontaneous unless he calls the lawyer who is holding on to his money for decades- his bank account may NEVER run out,but your patience will. He is spoiled & used to getting his way ALL the time. When you tell him you have to work, hes confused. He probably is emotionally & sexually attached to you if he even considers you his girlfriend- ultimately he will end up with another trust fund baby or he will still date you & take "Victoria" to the Hamptons instead so you can slave over your ordinary office job while he parties his life away. The benefit is, you get to fly out Europe during christmas & bbqs all summer long at his multi milion dollar vacations homes: which he inherited.
7. Mr. Merrily Married- He's so happy- he's got the career, kids, & perfect Trophy wife and to top it off with a big juicy cherry....he's got you ~ young, hot, just a phone call away- its a fun & spontaneous union from the START- sex in 5 star hotels- sex in the elevator- he treats you to room service in the morning- you can check out at your leisure- the problem is: he's NOT there when you wake up- he went back to his "normal" life.
This man leads a double life of sorts- by DAY he's a savvy lawyer, devoted DAD, hospitable hubby- but he is BORED...he needs excitement, variety- hes got some extra cash so he can afford the fancy hotels & a lovely lady to wine & dine when he feels his real life is caving in- besides he wasn't a bachelor too long ago- he may promise you: I will leave my wife...He WONT.
After months, possibly years of JERKING you around he suddenly has an EPIPHANY ~ Really I love my family- how could I disappoint my parents or separate MY children from their mother...at this point you're so in love with his SORRY ass.
Remember, you're not in love with him- as strange as i seems- meeting up at hotels for steamy 2AM trysts doesn't = an actual relationship. He may have opened up about his rough childhood or how he cant stand his wife's mother- that is just a moment of vulnerability- men have them too & later on, after the passion & lust dies, he will regret ever telling you these things. So do yourself a favor & don't get emotionally attached to this man.
Great sex NEVER = love.
The men mentioned above are just some I've come across or heard horror stories about from other women in NYC.
Have you ever met any of these guys or a combo...this is what I have found in New York, luckily, Im sticking with my British boyfriend- contrary to appearance, I believe whole heartedly he's one of my soul mates- we just go that "connection": whats 3500 miles + the great Atlantic Ocean-
